Comments on: PSA: Never Say Relax..

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:54:47 +0000

Thanks Jin! I guess I always feel like I SHOULDN’T be worried after this amount of time since I know so many that have been dealing longer…but I think it’s the miscarriage that really threw me off. That just showed me that I CAN get pregnant, so why can’t I anymore?? I personally LOVE what you say to people and I think it’s a very good answer. They deserve to hear it in my opinion. Thanks for commenting!

By: Jin

Jin — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:45:17 +0000

Oh, and just because you’ve been TTC for 5 months doesn’t make your journey any less painful. It just makes it cheaper in regards to medical bills

By: Jin

Jin — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:43:49 +0000

It is quite annoying. I’ve gotten into the habit of saying “those folks who ‘just relaxed’ and got pregnant were never infertile in the first place, and you try to relax when you have appointments with a specialist nearly once a week, and what’s relaxing going to do when there’s a medical issue preventing us from getting pregnant”. If they dont get the hint at that, then all bets are off. Sounds mean, but that person never tells you to relax again.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:51:05 +0000

Ya..I guess in the scheme of women who are considered infertile my 5 months is nothing, but after a miscarriage and KNOWING I can get pregnant, its frustrating that it’s taking this long. It’s a lesson I have learned not to say to others either.

By: FutureMama

FutureMama — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:46:10 +0000

Oh man, I feel ya girl! I hated that and I wasn’t ttc as long… It’s annoying but people just don’t know.. I think they don’t know what to say… I’m so glad I learned from experience how annoying that is though so I never make that mistake!

By: Senior Debutante

Senior Debutante — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:25:53 +0000

(My ignorance tagging me by the skirt- but) What is TTC? I’m new around. I like SITS but I want to clear my way around so we could properly relate to each other. Thanks.

But what I know, once confronted with someone who is in big trouble and needs help, almost always, you have million good words in mind that not one comes out clean. There comes a point that to say “Relax” is even scary for fear that you might complicate ruffled feelings.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:21:23 +0000

You remind me of a good point. I have asked this one couple who already have a kid when the next one is coming…I am totally breaking my own rules! Thank you for pointing that out. I never want to make anyone feel bad. And you are right, it is a totally irrational emotional thing…the person who says these things most likely only wants to help, but like you said your response is to want to strangle them!

By: hollywood housewife

hollywood housewife — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:24:21 +0000

and let me clarify: i should NOT have been embarrassed, but i was. there are so many emotions that crop up when you’re TTC and not all of them are rational.

like when you want to full-on strangle the person who tells you to relax. in a normal situation, not so rational. when TTC, perfectly logical.

By: hollywood housewife

hollywood housewife — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:22:33 +0000

i was so embarrassed when it took us longer to conceive than we were anticipating. i made a list of things that i would never say again to someone, and this was on it.

i really like what gabriela said. now i NEVER inquire about someone’s baby plan, even if they already have children. you have no idea what nerve you might touch.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 03:48:12 +0000

Stephanie I just checked out your blog and I am so happy to see that you are pregnant! Especially after all you have been through! Good luck at your appt Friday! I hope you never have to hear “relax” again!