mom of two

These days I can’t sleep. I’m tired, and I am emotional and I am just pregnant. The funny joke is that I have the time to sleep now but I can’t. Soon…when the baby comes I will physically be able to sleep again (I hope) but I have many months ahead of me where sleep will seem but a distant memory. I know this. What I don’t know is how I will cope with it this time around. My little boy is a busy one, and keeps me on my toes. How will I do it all…and do it all exhausted? Will I be a good mom to him still? How will he adjust? I guess I am just nervous. That’s normal right?

People tell me “people do it all the time”, and “you will figure it out”, and I know that. I get it. I know all of it will become my new normal. My concern stems with my wonderful 3 1/2 year old boy who loves his mommy and craves attention. I am a bit tired and crabby these days and I feel my patience is lacking. It’s only going to get worse isn’t it? I find myself needing to just sit and take breaks. I lose motivation to make plans and we end up at home. I have a feeling the same thing will happen when baby arrives.

When I do push myself I find my body paying the price. I can’t keep going like I am not 33 weeks pregnant anymore, but I can’t just sit around like I used to. When baby comes my body will need time to heal again in a different way. I will have a newborn baby who needs a TON of my attention, and a little boy who will not understand why I can’t sit on the floor all day and play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Where does one find the balance? We all just learn to adjust? ,

I had so much time to hold and cuddle my son. My day was all about him, but this little girl won’t get as much of that. She will need to learn to go with the flow. Is that just the nature of baby number two? I was able to have a nap schedule , I was able to breastfeed on demand, and my baby ran the show (as he does now!). But that won’t be the case anymore I’m told. Will I adjust? Will she?

This control freak has trouble with the unknown. Can one really imagine what life will be like? Did I panic the last time? Probably. I can’t wait to be a mom of two. I just want it all to go smoothly. Are you laughing yet? Am I totally in denial? Ya…I know I am. A girl can hope right? Maybe expect the worst and hope for the best is a better course of action. Only time will tell!