Everyone has their dreams. For some it is to excel in their certain field, for others it is to be wealthy, for me…its to be a great mom, and have a happy family life. When I think about becoming a mom I have nothing but wonderful thoughts in my head. I picture the giggles, and the play time, and the precious moments where that little one looks so innocent while he/she is sleeping on my tummy…I picture trips to the park and family vacations to Disney world. Is it wrong to picture these things? I never thought so until recently. Recently I found out that I am pretty much living in a dream world.
Maybe its because I have been reading more and more Mommy Blogs, maybe I am just speaking to more women who have had babies..or maybe its the fact that women have decided to publicly share their stories on shows like Oprah. But I find myself watching and reading only to cringe….is it really that hard? Are you really that lonely? Are you really that tired? And the more I learn the more I realize that the answer is probably YES!
I guess this is the definition of “the truth hurts”. Have women always had these feelings and just kept them inside? I mean we have been having babies for centuries…and doing it more than once! Do you just forget the bad memories and only think of the good? I am sure sharing the bad stuff when you are ACTUALLY a mom is therapeutic. I know how therapeutic it is to share what I go through here on this blog. But as a dreamer looking in I gotta tell ya…it’s scary!
Personally I think being a mother is a gift from god. I get that there will be crying, and poopy diapers, and sleepless nights…but am I nieve to think that all the good that comes with it outweighs the bad?
For now I choose to live in my ideal world. It is a happy and exciting place to be. So what do you think? Am I crazy to not believe the hype? Is it better to hope for the best but prepare for the worst?
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I think it has to do more with the fact that those who are not happy are the ones that complain. Just like a product rarely gets rave random reviews on the internet, but if that one person is unhappy with the product they’ll bitch and complain about it to anyone that will listen.
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Living In An Ideal World
Careful capt! You might get some of the mommies out there mad at you!
In my opinion, being a mommy is the most wonderful, rewarding, irreplaceable experience that life has to offer. At the same time, it is also the hardest, most demanding job I have ever had!! Nobody really tells you just how difficult the beginning is…BUT once you get past that- you are SMOOTH SAILING! If it were that terrible, women would only want ONE child! I can get a little lonely, being home with just the baby, and it is EXTREMELY tiring being up all night long, and incredibly frustrating when you cannot get a baby to stop crying after trying 100 things… but overall, mommy-hood is a BEAUTIFUL thing… watching your child grow, develop physically and cognitively, and the milestones like smiling, grabbing a toy for the 1st time, sitting… IT IS AMAZING.
So- with all that being said, NO- you are NOT living in a fantasy. With ALL the good, of course there’s some bad- just prepare yourself (easier said than done), but at least you know what you are in for!!!
Thank you for that Lauren! It’s nice to hear that it’s the good things your remember and being a mom is as rewarding as I thought
being a mom is amazing…and the absolute best thing in the world. do i want breaks sometimes? yes. do I occasionally want my son to go to bed earlier so i can curl up with a book and a glass of wine uninterupted? yes. but do i love the smiles he gives me every day? absolutely. would I change any of it? no. its a life adjustment — but completely and utterly worth every minute.
Shannon´s last blog ..snowed in
As a non-mom with the completely opposite outlook on the whole process, I think it is a GOOD THING that you have such an optimistic view of motherhood. It will make it easier for you to someday remain optimistic in the face of, well, whatever comes your way (triplets, perhaps? ha ha ha). I, personally, have always been terrified of the mere idea of motherhood–people who do it ‘on purpose’ have always been a mystery to me. However, I attribute my insanely negative views on experiences watching my friends have kids, well, let’s just say ‘young’. (Sorry friends, if you are reading this, but to be fair, it did look INSANELY difficult!!!)
Triplets! HUSH!!! lol I guess it can go both ways…I never got to really see anyone raise a kid. My outlook could be different if I had. So no kids “on purpose” for you? Something you’ll reevaluate in the future?
Your account is exactly how I picture it…wonderful with a side of difficult! lol I guess you are right…it’s a total lifestyle change! Once you get that I guess it’s a little easier…if you go everyday thinking things will go back…it may be more difficult!
It is a wonderful and rewarding experience, motherhood.
It is also mind boggling difficult and isolating some moments but overall those moments are far and few in between…they just feel like they last forever. lol.
I don’t pretend everything about being a parent is easy because I’d be lying. It is adjustment and one of great responsibility. Not to be taken lightly. For some of us that can be more overwhelming than it is for others.
Also something to take into account is how much support the mother has. Some women really do not have partners who are there, hands on and such helping them.
I think we all need to be more honest about the up and downs of motherhood.
[...] at around our 1 year anniversary, and since I was truly ready for that, I was excited. It is my life’s goal to be a mother, so I could not WAIT for the time when we were both ready to start that [...]
Motherhood for me has been wonderful, stressful, fun, scary, relaxing, tiring, uplifting and depressing. And I have most of these feelings at least once a day
It is not easy and it can be very tiring but it is also very worth it and there is nothing more amazing then watching your child grow and learn. The first time my son said “I love you” and gave me a hug was the best moment of my entire life.