graduated

I wrote this on the day my RE told me that it was time I went to see my own OB.

When I started my weekly sonograms after finding out I was pregnant I wasn’t exactly sure how long I would get to come to my RE’s office. Maybe I didn’t ask because I didn’t want that date looming over, but at 7 weeks 2 days I was told that it was time I went to see my own OB. I’m not going to lie I panicked, and if I allowed you into my own personal world (which I always do) I cried the moment I left the office. It was so scary to think that the warm and fuzzy, hand holding world of the RE was done, and I was being sent to the “everything is fine”, “Nature will do it’s thing” office of the OB. I knew I wasn’t emotionally ready, but when they told me my insurance would no longer cover my visits and it would be $350 if I wanted extra sono’s there I knew I had to suck it up and go. Graduation Day was upon us.

As much as weekly appointments can be annoying scheduling wise, those weekly appointments allowed me to know that everything was OK week by week. I know that there is no guarantee no matter who sees me, but the RE definitely holds your hand more than an OB does…at least in my experience. Maybe it’s just my practice, and normally I love it, but they are of the “everything is fine” school of obstetrics. I normally love that, but this time I needed more than that. I needed constant reassurance and I got that at the RE, but now that’s over.

I got my final blood work done after my last sono and all the nurses hugged me and wished me luck. I wanted to cry right then and there. They were so happy for me to get that far. I guess in their line of work they see so much heartache that to see a success is a big deal and something to celebrate.

I am not going to lie. Having the RE appointments every week with a child at home isn’t easy, and I didn’t even go through any fertility treatments or monitoring. I give all you women who have gone through that credit. I am lucky Captain Awesome has a job that allowed him to stay home in the mornings while I went to get bloodwork, and one that allowed him to be away with me while we went to sono appointments. Being a SAHM, and at the mercy of the doctor with appointment times it can get very difficult. But we did it together, and with the help of family.

So my next appointment will be at 8 weeks 4 days at my OB. I have so many mixed feelings about this appointment. My first pregnancy brought great heartache at this appointment, my second pregnancy it brought me so much joy, and my third pregnancy brought me joy only to soon bring my heartache. I wish I could say that if/WHEN I have a good 8 week appointment I will feel better, but I won’t. Unfortunately, I now know all too well that things can STILL go bad. But it will be an amazing milestone and I am looking forward to reaching it.

Goodbye wonderful RE and hello OB. Please be gentle on this psycho pregnant woman….Please?