After the Alter http://afterthealter.com My Life as a Mrs. Wed, 22 Feb 2017 02:26:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.2 Baby Shower Gift Guide Via BabyCubby.com http://afterthealter.com/baby-shower-gift-guide-via-babycubby-com/ http://afterthealter.com/baby-shower-gift-guide-via-babycubby-com/#respond Mon, 06 Feb 2017 17:26:18 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10358 There was a point in my life not so long ago that I was attending baby showers all the time. If someone wasn't on their first child it was for a sprinkle for their second. Then, things started to slow down, and now that my daughter is 2 I have felt out of the loop [...]

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There was a point in my life not so long ago that I was attending baby showers all the time. If someone wasn’t on their first child it was for a sprinkle for their second. Then, things started to slow down, and now that my daughter is 2 I have felt out of the loop when it comes to baby items. Now, my friends are starting to have their 3rd child and it’s time to start being educated again. When  Baby Cubby reached out to see if I wanted to work on a Baby Shower Gift Guide based on their website I was super excited to take a look and make my pics.

Let’s get started! One of my favorite things about Baby Cubby, and what I think makes them different from other sites is that they PRICE MATCH! They will even match Amazon’s prices.  Here’s a little more in their words about what makes them different.

The Baby Cubby is for every parent out there who has ever felt overwhelmed or discouraged about becoming a parent. Our Baby Cubby team is made up of parents who have been there. We know what it’s like and we are passionate about encouraging, inspiring, and reminding parents how amazing they are and how important their role is.
The way we do this is by finding the highest quality and safest baby gear to provide to parents in a fun shopping experience. We do things like test strollers on our stroller track, price match everyday – even amazon, offer free shipping nationwide at BabyCubby.com and actively engage with parents via social media and our Cubby Community Blog to discuss some of the difficult topics of parenting.

When registering, or buying for a baby shower it’s important to have gifts that fit many price points. Baby Cubby definitely has that! Here are some of my favorites!

The 4Moms MamaRoo ($249.99) wasn’t around when my son was born but it was when my daughter was. I was lucky enough to take my sister’s to borrow. But if you are looking for a gift to split with some friends this one is a lifesaver.

Let’s start with the DockATot Delux.($250) It’s funny because a friend of mine JUST asked about this product so I looked into it. I can’t believe how expensive it is, but based on the comments she received from facebook, it sounds like those that have it LOVE it!

Next up is the Original Ergo Baby Carrier ($115). I am not familiar with the newer models they show on the site, but I do know that I am a HUGE fan of baby wearing and my Ergo Baby Carrier lasted through 4 kids (2 mine, 2 my sisters). It was comfortable and easy and any mom would be lucky to get one. Definitely worth the investment.

As a nursing mom my nursing cover was with me all the time. This one from Hooter Hiders ($36) is a must have for any mom who is nursing.

Toys are always a fun gift too. Wooden Toys are making a big come back with the idea that they are a more natural option for the baby to play with. Baby Cubby has a bunch of options to choose from.

With their price matching option, and FREE SHIPPING on orders over $49, I would say Baby Cubby is a great spot to register, or buy something for that new mommy to be.

What is your favorite go to baby shower item? Do you see it on Baby Cubby?

I was provided a gift card to the site in return for this post. As always all thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Ways to Make Money Online for Homemakers http://afterthealter.com/ways-make-money-online-homemakers/ http://afterthealter.com/ways-make-money-online-homemakers/#respond Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:19:43 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10370 Building a home that is welcoming and loving is a full-time job but sometimes there is time, or a need, to do more. With the invention of the internet, just because someone is at home all day does not mean that they cannot bring in some extra money. Online work can give homemakers a means [...]

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Building a home that is welcoming and loving is a full-time job but sometimes there is time, or a need, to do more. With the invention of the internet, just because someone is at home all day does not mean that they cannot bring in some extra money. Online work can give homemakers a means to make a substantial income while attending to the many responsibilities around the house. Some jobs require learning while others require a passion. Choosing what best suites you will not only make your work enjoyable but it will also increase your drive to succeed. In this article, we will look at different types of jobs that you can do as a homemaker.

Online trading

Becoming an online trader can not only be rewarding but it can also bring in a substantial income with enough time and experience. It will not make a person rich overnight and there is always risk involved whether you trading stocks, bonds or foreign exchange. Learning is a big part of becoming a trader because the more informed and experienced a person is, the better they are likely to do. Persistence and a love for research will benefit this type of vocation. By trading on websites such as CMC Markets, an individual is able to make trades and keep informed on the latest developments in the news that can affect their stocks and investments. New traders are advised to take it slow and build their way up to becoming a confident investor.

Manage Fan Pages on Facebook

Almost everyone knows about Facebook but not many people know about the demand for social media management. Facebook fan pages allow a business, individual or group to connect with their supporters. Many of them are willing to pay for help to manage their page by creating regular updates and replying to posts. You can contact the page owner directly for a business inquiry or find social media management work on various job boards online.

Make YouTube videos

YouTube is a global force on the internet with millions of people viewing videos created by users. Some of the more popular content generators are able to make substantial money from their channels through advertising and promotions. Creating videos and uploading them to your YouTube channel can be an excellent idea for some homemakers to make money online. Generally, the videos should be about things that you enjoy such as cooking, handcrafts or parenting tips among others. For example, you could showcase your unique cooking skills and recipes in a video format for others to comment on and learn from. With enough viewers and subscribers, the channel can generate you a monthly income. Persistence is again required in order to reach the amount of viewers that you need to make money. Creating a catchy title and providing unique, fun content can sometimes mean the difference between a 100 views and having a video go viral.

Design clothing and accessories and sell them online

If you have a talent for designing clothing and accessories such as bags or jewellery, you can sell them online. Make use of classifieds to reach your customer and consider creating a website to promote your goods. Some of the website hosts provide free e-commerce plugins that allow you to track your sales and inventory easily. Creating websites on these sites is fairly easy and you do not have to know html coding. Sales may come from individuals or bulk orders from shops that have found your work online.

Freelance writing

Another avenue to consider for online work that you can do from home is becoming a freelance writer. There are a multitude of websites that can provide you with jobs that are usually paid for as the task is complete. Articles usually require you to complete around 600 words on a given topic and the pay can be anywhere between $5 and $50 for each one. Having a handle on your grammar and having excellent researching skills is a must in order to provide accurate and professional work.

Being a homemaker that is unable to leave the house for long periods of time does not mean that you cannot find work. Make use of the internet and the power it gives you to be able to find the type of work you enjoy and earn extra money.

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The Importance of Having an Emotional Support Dog http://afterthealter.com/importance-emotional-support-dog/ http://afterthealter.com/importance-emotional-support-dog/#respond Fri, 20 Jan 2017 13:53:10 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10355 Research has shown that people who suffer from mental disabilities often find it hard to be productive at workplace. They also tend to spoil relationships on the professional and personal levels. Antipsychotic medicines, which are prescribed to these people have a lot of side effects. For this reason, therapists often prescribe emotional support animals (ESA) [...]

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Research has shown that people who suffer from mental disabilities often find it hard to be productive at workplace. They also tend to spoil relationships on the professional and personal levels. Antipsychotic medicines, which are prescribed to these people have a lot of side effects. For this reason, therapists often prescribe emotional support animals (ESA) to their patients. Mostly the emotional support animals (ESA) are dogs as they happen to be the friendliest creatures on this planet.

Perks of registering your pet

It is important to register emotional support dog to enjoy certain benefits which otherwise will not babe possible. The Air Access Carrier Act enables these dogs to fly with their owners at no extra charge. Also, The Fair Housing Amendment Act of 1988 makes the owner of ESA to qualify for a pet-free housing without paying an extra charge. These dogs have been considered to be an integral part of the treat for those with disabilities like phobia, anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc.

The difference between service and emotional support dogs

It is essential to understand the mainline of difference between service dogs and emotional support dogs. The service dogs are often categorized as a medical equipment for their owners. They are trained to perform specific tasks which otherwise the owners will not be able to complete by themselves. For example, eye dogs help their blind owner navigate around or do their chores. On the contrary emotional support dogs are prescribed by therapists to mental disorder patients. They provide comfort to the patients and make them happy. At times, you can have more than one support dog, but it is not beneficial. Your landlord might put a restriction on the number of ESA dogs in the household. He might put the second dog under the clause of a no-pet provision.

Prerequisites to become an ESA

In order to consider your pet as an ESA, you need to sign up your pet with the National Service Animal Registry. They will legitimize your pet and make it an integral part of your life. In order to get a license, you need make sure that your pet meets the requirement criteria for an ESA. Additionally, you need to have a prescription from a therapist or psychiatrist which states that you need an ESA for treatment purpose.

The disorder needs to be described by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV or V).

Benefits of registering

Once you receive the letter, you need to register your pet on the National Service Animal Registry website. You also need to complete a test to prove that your dog is well behaved in public and has basic training. Upon completion of the same, you shall receive an official NSAR certificate, along with a photo I.D. Therefore, it is important to register emotional support dog for you can used the ID card to get access to restricted areas. Also, you also need to have the certificate with you all the time for verification and check in public.

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Utilizing My Village http://afterthealter.com/utilizing-my-village/ http://afterthealter.com/utilizing-my-village/#respond Thu, 12 Jan 2017 19:46:35 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10349 I am not one who asks for help easily. I am the type of person who feels like I should be able to do it all. I am home with my kids and therefore its my job to be able to handle it...but right now I'm not. I'm not doing a good job at just [...]

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I am not one who asks for help easily. I am the type of person who feels like I should be able to do it all. I am home with my kids and therefore its my job to be able to handle it…but right now I’m not. I’m not doing a good job at just about anything. I’m not a good mom, not a good wife, not a good daughter, not a good friend and not a good member of this community. I don’t always excel at all but I do my best to excel at some, but these days as I have mentioned before my mind is elsewhere. The only difference is that on these last few weeks I have been forced to lean on others and as a result I am seeing how amazing it is. I am seeing that handling it doesn’t always have to be on me….and even though I am a SAHM it’s ok to accept help, because let’s be honest….I need it

I struggle with guilt because I feel I have been away from my kids more these last few weeks than ever. It is of course necessary and of course I know they will be fine, but I still struggle. Captain Awesome has stepped up in more ways then he knows. It’s hard to take over the job as captain of the ship when you have never had to. It’s a learning curve and he was thrown right in.

My mother in law, although working a full time job, has given so much of her time. The time I was most away happened to fall during a week she took off and I believe it had to happen that way because she helped me and The Captain out so much. Just knowing my kids were taken care of made a world of difference.

I have leaned on family before, but the big change has been asking others. Even when Tessa was a newborn I insisted on doing all classes with her and all school drop offs and pick ups. All with a crying nursing baby. These days I have found amazing neighbors and friends to help me. From the woman across the street who will watch and take care of my kids whenever I ask, to the neighbor who will take my son to and from the bus stop when my daughter is sick, to friends who help me with car pool to my sons activities even when I can’t return the favor right now. I am truly blessed.

They have always said it takes a village and that is so true. It’s amazing to learn that your village can be made up of so many amazing people too. So many have offered to help and it makes me realize what a great life I have here. The hard part is saying “yes” when that help is offered. I am learning that it’s necessary.

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These Days I’m a 24/7 Mess http://afterthealter.com/days-im-247-mess/ http://afterthealter.com/days-im-247-mess/#respond Fri, 30 Dec 2016 19:23:43 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10339 I usually like to think that I have it together, and if I don't I pretend. Don't we all try to do that? I mean everyone has struggles right? I love my family, I like to be involved in school, the community and activities and I am happy to do it. But, that isn't always [...]

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I usually like to think that I have it together, and if I don’t I pretend. Don’t we all try to do that? I mean everyone has struggles right? I love my family, I like to be involved in school, the community and activities and I am happy to do it. But, that isn’t always easy when you are personally breaking down. When your mind is always some place else but you need to be present as a mom…what do you do? When it’s your job to make the holidays magical and to keep it together? When you live far away from your family who needs you? It’s then that I become a complete mess, but moms aren’t allowed to be a mess. Life goes on, and there are things to do…so how do I cope? I haven’t figured it out yet…

My dad is sick. He just got out of the ICU after 2 weeks, and a total of over 3 weeks in the hospital. Before that he was struggling so it’s been tough for a while, but this month shit hit the fan. I am 2 1/2 hours away….December and Christmas is my favorite time of year and my kids deserve to feel the magic of the holidays. So what do I do? If I could split myself in two it would be great. My mind is with my mom and dad…they need me. I am best in a crisis situation but I’m not there. Instead I am useless at home on the phone and not being present as a parent. The two people I need to be just gets to be one person who isn’t succeeding at much.

Captain Awesome has been great. He has stepped up to be whatever I need but he can’t be that person. I need me. If he stayed home and I travel to PA (which I have) I attempt to remember all that needs to be done…activities to get them to and lunches to pack. In the meantime he misses work and I feel guilty. If I am in NY I feel like I am not with my dad who is suffering, or with my mom who needs support. I am a robot. It sucks. My brain is never where it is supposed to be and I feel like a mess…..always. Do my kids know? Probably not. That’s positive. That is until mommy has to be away and they are sad. See, as a SAHM I’m always with them. I captain this ship. Although I know they are fine…they aren’t used to me being away. It’s hard to hear with tears “mommy…home” from your two year old.

So here we are. I am currently in NY trying to figure out when I can skip out to PA next. I know my family here will help but it doesn’t make me feel less torn. I need to be two places as once. But I can’t….so here we are…..

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Thankful She Still Loves The Crib http://afterthealter.com/thankful-still-loves-crib/ http://afterthealter.com/thankful-still-loves-crib/#respond Fri, 18 Nov 2016 19:34:30 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10330 One of the most memorable moments, and hardest transitions during my sons almost 6 years of life was when he jumped from his crib. I remember it so vividly. He was just over 20 months, and I woke up one morning to him by my bedside saying "down!" . Kind of like...".Mom..I have been calling for you [...]

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sleeping-crib

One of the most memorable moments, and hardest transitions during my sons almost 6 years of life was when he jumped from his crib. I remember it so vividly. He was just over 20 months, and I woke up one morning to him by my bedside saying “down!” . Kind of like…”.Mom..I have been calling for you to get me out!! ” From there we had a really hard time with naps and bedtime and we went through a very big adjustment. I cringed when I thought of doing it again, but at over 2 years we are still going strong in the crib! I mean, not only are we going strong, but I feel like it’s safe to say that she’s super happy in her bed and I am sooo thankful!

When it comes to my kids I prefer to plan out any changes that may occur. Like deciding to potty train. I thought about it….planned, and worked towards a goal. Same went for most things, but for my son the switching to a big boy bed wasn’t one of them. The big bed is scary. Sooo much more freedom that I am not ready to give my daughter.

Each morning I have no idea what time she gets up. No seriously! I can’t even think of a time when she woke up and called for me. Really…maybe when she was a little baby she cried, but I don’t have a memory of it? She wakes up and reads a book I put in there. I watch her on the monitory rocking her baby doll or putting it to bed. It really is so sweet. She will put on her fishys almost as an alarm for myself and Captain Awesome. Kind of like…do you hear that? Wake up! The same thing goes for nap time. Most of the time I don’t know she’s awake until I check the monitor around the time she SHOULD be waking up. It’s pretty nice.

Some times I joke with her and climb into the crib. She laughs and says ” mommy own”, meaning that I have my own bed and to get out! She means it! I lay in my bed with her and say “want to sleep over with mommy” and she says “no my own”. It’s kind of funny. I certainly don’t want a co sleeper, but since my boy was so little when he was in a big bed I kind of liked snuggling with him in it! That’s not to say I don’t love our glider time. I’m just saying that by now I had cuddled and slept with my son a bunch, and I haven’t gotten that time with my girl.

I love knowing she’s still in that safe space. I love that my daughter loves to sleep and to nap. Jealous? I would be because it’s awesome. My kids are many things and have many quirks, but one thing they do is sleep. Mommy is happy because of that. I do like my sleep! And so do they! Let’s see how this turns out though. There is still much time for trouble, but I am hoping it will someday be an easy transition….time will tell!

 

 

 

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Dear Those who are upset with the outcome of this election http://afterthealter.com/dear-upset-outcome-election/ http://afterthealter.com/dear-upset-outcome-election/#respond Thu, 10 Nov 2016 18:37:15 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10324 I had a "friend" on facebook say that they wish they could speak to a white woman who "unbelievably" voted for Trump. I wanted to comment there, but then I decided what's the point? So here I am. An educated, white female who voted for Donald Trump. I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend [...]

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judging

I had a “friend” on facebook say that they wish they could speak to a white woman who “unbelievably” voted for Trump. I wanted to comment there, but then I decided what’s the point? So here I am. An educated, white female who voted for Donald Trump. I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and active member of my community. As angry as those are who wished the outcome were different, I am just as angry for my personal character being called out daily. I am not a racist, bigot, or a horrible, deplorable person. Do you realize what you are saying? Do you realize that the judgment you think you hear from Trump is spewing from your mouth? If you ask me the posts I woke up on Wednesday were more hateful than anything? Love not hate right? Maybe you should first live that in your own life.

See, I believe that teaching our children starts at home. If you want to go a step further it then comes down to the community you live in and the people you surround yourself with. Think about that next time you post on facebook. I would bet that there is someone you call friend, neighbor or family member who voted different than you. How do you spew that hatred of the other side and then call them a friend? You may feel like you are the one crying at home, but I will tell you that I get personally hurt and offended every time I see the things YOU post on facebook. Think about that for a second.

The President of the United States is NOT responsible for your happiness. He doesn’t have to be your role model. People loved JFK and he was banging Marilyn Monroe behind the scenes. Don’t get me started on President Clinton getting blow jobs under the desk at the oval office…then lying about it! Let’s talk about character there???  Do you let your kids watch sports, or look up to an actor or singer? Maybe that’s what you should focus on more. The drinking and drugs and language is much more concerning. Your children only know what YOU are teaching them at home. Does your kid need the weight of the world on their shoulders at 5? I know I don’t want to put that on my son.

We are a country of different opinions. That’s what makes us great. Why are we letting the news and false facts sway us? Our news is no longer news it’s sensationalism. There is no more unbiased news outlet. We take facebook articles and statements as facts and repeat them. We are looking

at our neighbors who we liked last week and now give them the evil eye because of who they voted for? Before facebook no one knew who you voted for unless you told them. It’s really none of anyone’s business. It doesn’t have to define you, but you know what does???? How YOU choose to act every day.

You want change? Help in your community. Make change happen locally. That’s real change. Don’t hate me for who I voted for and don’t judge my character. To generalize people is just wrong. I didn’t like or always believe in our president the last 8 years…did you know that? Probably not because I just went with it. Those were the cards I was dealt with….now….others will have to do the same.

Life as you know it isn’t over. To many they are excited about the possibilities. I know I am. Let’s just be nice about it….

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Adulting 101: Your Furniture-Buying Guide http://afterthealter.com/adulting-101-furniture-buying-guide/ http://afterthealter.com/adulting-101-furniture-buying-guide/#respond Wed, 09 Nov 2016 20:15:28 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10322 So last week you signed the lease for your first apartment. You moved in and realized all you really have is a mattress, a lamp, and your television. You want to make the space feel like home, but don’t really feel like spending a ton of money. You think to yourself “I mean, how long [...]

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So last week you signed the lease for your first apartment. You moved in and realized all you really have is a mattress, a lamp, and your television. You want to make the space feel like home, but don’t really feel like spending a ton of money. You think to yourself “I mean, how long is this stuff really going to last me, anyway?”

With furniture, as with wine and tattoos, you get what you pay for. Now, I’m not saying that the first sectional you buy will stay in your family for generations, but you may take it with you on your next several moves. While you may be eyeing that Ikea sofa because of its attractive price tag, it certainly won’t be built to last.

Invest in Your Space

Few things make a home feel “homey” like a good sofa. When you want to relax in your living room, where will you sit? Where will your company sit? Surely, you won’t be able to relax in one of those folding COSCO folding chairs you’ve set up with that card table you threw a table cloth over and dubbed your “kitchen table.” You want your place to look more put-together, to feel more “adult.”

One of the best investments you can make is in a sofa. It is the central, utilitarian piece of any living room and the place you cozy up with others. One way to get the most use out of a sofa is to go for a sectional-style or a sleeper sofa. Sectionals are incredibly versatile and can be rearranged to fit almost any room. If you really want to get the most out of your sectional, be sure to get one with a chaise, as these can usually be arranged in several ways. If you have frequent overnight guests, a sleeper sofa might be more your style. Furniture brands like Blu Dot have multiple options in both sofa categories.

Create Your Sanctuary

Your bedroom is your private sanctuary. It is where you should feel, and sleep, like royalty. While investing in space for your guests is important, it’s also pivotal to invest in your own space. While you might enjoy sleeping on the floor, having a perfect mattress in a welcoming bedframe will help you recharge when you’re home.

While some furniture is fine to get from your local bargain retailer, one thing to never mess around with is finding the perfect bed. According to US News, sleep is actually more important for weight loss than exercise or healthy eating. Regardless of whether or not you’re in bed for 8 or 9 hours, if you’re constantly tossing and turning or waking up, you’re still not getting enough rest. If cost is a concern for you, try buying your mattress around Memorial Day or Labor Day, as those are usually the times when mattress retailers have the biggest sales.

Create an organized space by investing in a bed with storage built in. This way, you’re not only getting a house for your perfect mattress, but also extra storage for your favorite clothes and accessories.

Use it or Lose it!

The best way to get value out of any purchase is to use it as much as possible. If you buy a pair of shoes, but they only sit in your closet, wouldn’t you have been better off spending that money on something else? Probably. If you wear those shoes, however, and love them until they are dirty and have holes in the bottom, then your money was well spent. The same is true for furniture.

Keep your spaces clean and organized, have company over whenever you can, and make sure to get the sleep you need every night. Investing in your space means investing in your life, which is never a waste.

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His LAST Halloween Parade http://afterthealter.com/last-halloween-parade/ http://afterthealter.com/last-halloween-parade/#respond Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:30:05 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10317 And the hits just keep on coming! Do you know what today was? It was my son's LAST Halloween parade at school. You know the one....where the kids get adorably dressed up and walk past you and smile and wave? Ya...today was my last. It's over. Never will happen again with my son. NEVER! Sorry [...]

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halloween-paradesAnd the hits just keep on coming! Do you know what today was? It was my son’s LAST Halloween parade at school. You know the one….where the kids get adorably dressed up and walk past you and smile and wave? Ya…today was my last. It’s over. Never will happen again with my son. NEVER! Sorry to say there were more tears. Surprised? Probably not.

Sorry to be such a Debbie downer recently but I have always used this blog as my personal therapy. I always appreciate when I put something out there and people contact me and tell me they feel the same…it’s nice…it’s therapeutic. That’s what I need these days…therapy.

He has had 4 Halloween parades at school and I have loved them all. He has always been so proud to walk past and wave and sing his songs. Today that was no different. He has been whispering his songs around the house and I pretend I don’t hear them when he asks me. He smiles and tells me it’s a surprise. I love it. This year I am fortunate to be class mom so I got to be in the classroom for the party, but after this year I guess I just send him on his way to school in his costume. No more parade! I can’t figure out why that is though. Kids love Halloween parades…no?

Like everything else this year I am reminded of how quickly time passes and how fleeting these years are. The good news is that I know I have many years left of him wanting to dress up and participate in Halloween. Other good news is that Tessa hasn’t even started her Halloween parade years so I have some good time left in me there. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about adding another last to my list. I’ll just mourn that for a minute and be on my way.

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My Little Boy….It’s Just Not the Same http://afterthealter.com/little-boy-just-not/ http://afterthealter.com/little-boy-just-not/#respond Tue, 25 Oct 2016 13:00:05 +0000 http://afterthealter.com/?p=10310 Today was a hard day. It was a Monday and it was one of the first times I realized what a different role I play in your life....and it as hard. The morning was as usual. We got up and we rushed. I wanted to take you to school because it was easier for me [...]

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Today was a hard day. It was a Monday and it was one of the first times I realized what a different role I play in your life….and it as hard. The morning was as usual. We got up and we rushed. I wanted to take you to school because it was easier for me to get Tessa to dance if I did so but you said no. You wanted to take the bus….but I miss taking you to school. So we rushed and barely made it to the bus stop. Then…you were gone all day. I missed you. I picked you up from school so that you could make it to soccer and from the moment you got in the car it just felt off. You were combative and everything I did was wrong. I was later than you wanted….when we got home it was all about the fact that we didn’t have enough space for your Pokémon cards. Dad had to work late so I told you I had to do homework with you. To that you told me “I don’t want to do it with you I want to do it with daddy”. It stung. Then of course soccer, and a fight to eat dinner, and no special bonding from there. We even got the Toys r Us Catalog to which you quickly skimmed and said “no Pokemon…nothing in here”. WTF! I wanted to cry. When did we get here? Where did my little boy go?

I get it. I won’t always be your world, but I didn’t think I had to deal with teenage behavior in Kindergarten. When did toys become a thing of the past? What happened to your favorite activity being a quick trip to Toys R Us to walk through the aisles and want everything? I hate that I am not longer a major part of your day, but I thought I could get passed that. What I can’t get over is the fact that each part of the day I am a part of is spent rushing or being a secondary role.

We don’t get to sit in the morning. That is the nature of the beast…I get that. We are up and at em each day. But then there is pick up and activities to which we rush to get to. Even if I cut those out I have a feeling I’d lose you to Pokémon cards or ipad. We then get home from our activities and I have to be a mom and get dinner on the table. Daddy comes home and you want him to do homework, and play. I knew this time was coming. When people used to pick on me and say that I loved your adoration too much I would say “but my time is limited” and I can’t believe we have reached that time. I cook dinner…then clean up dinner and then we do bath and bed. Great…..

I ask you every night what your favorite part of your day was and I am realizing that none of those parts include me. I knew it had to happen….but I knew I’d never be ready. And I’m not. I’m sad….I’m struggling and I am wallowing. Wallowing a lot. I even sometimes find myself putting the guilt on you and that’s wrong….I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to thrive and grow and be you.

What I didn’t realize is that it would come so soon….I’m not OK with that.

 

 

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