Wow….just wow. I can’t believe we have reached the last week of preschool for my first born. He has been going to Centerport Methodist Preschool for the last 3 years, and I can’t believe that at the end of this week he graduates. My little man will be standing on that stage, smiling, and singing the songs he has been practicing so hard, and all I can think about is how there is no way that I will make it through the ceremony without being a blubbering idiot. No joke. If I even talk about his graduation I start to choke up. I know that I have one sensitive little boy who will be sad if his mommy is sad, so I can’t ruin this moment for him…..so thus far I have only come up with shots before the ceremony……medication…..or just mentally checking out and pretending I’m somewhere else.

I have been blessed with one extra year with my boy home with me because we decided to hold him back early in school due to his birthday being the cut off date. Sometimes I struggle with keeping him entertained, but as I look back on the last three years of preschool I have loved being such a huge part of it. I was class mom all 3 years, I got to be in his classroom at least once a month, and the school offered so many great opportunities to be a part of the class programs. Each day I drive him to school and walk him inside and I get to see his teachers, classmates and other parents who always offer up stories. Same goes for pick up. At Centerport Methodist there is a grassy hill in the front and at pick up the kids run out of school and run straight up the hill. There is a huge tree and they hid in the branches, and then they run down and repeat. It’s something so small, but they get so much joy out of it. Now, the school is closing and not only is this the last year Christian will run on that hill…but Tessa (who also likes to run) will never get the chance to do it with her classmates.

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I love the art projects that clutter up my bulletin board, and I loved all the Mother’s Day teas. Did I get my last Christmas ornament from my little boy last year? Do they do that in Kindergarten? Did we have our last Mother’s Day tea? He is always so proud to give me what he made.

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The end of preschool means that next year he will be gone at school all day. Gone will be the days of having him home for lunch with me. My day won’t be planned around driving him to and from school. The first year he went 2 days, then 3, then this year 4. I have had my boy as a huge part of my day since the day he was born, and from now on (except summers) the majority of his day will be with others. I think that’s what is the hardest. Knowing that it’s the end of a time that is so precious. They tell you that you never get these years back and it’s true.

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I know that there will be a lot more of firsts and lasts over the years. Many I am sure I will try to hold onto way too tightly, such as this. But I know that I can’t. I know that I have to smile and know that these experiences are what will shape my boy into who he will become. I am just thankful to be along for the ride.

This week will finish with field day, wet and wild day and end with Graduation. If you are looking for me, just listen for a woman blubbering hysterically, and most likely wearing her sunglasses indoors to hide the redness in her eyes. I have yet to decide how I will make it through graduation whether the shots….medication….or total denial, but I will keep you posted. Just do me a favor and don’t judge….or at least keep your judgement to yourself.