Last year at this time I put on my happy face. I was happy and I had so much to be thankful for, but I wanted a baby. I wanted a brother or a sister for my son, and at that time my body was failing (that’s how I saw it) and I was sad. But now, a year later I get to look at my little girl and smile. She is what I dreamed of for so long. Now this holiday season she is here. It’s still surreal.

It seemed like so long ago that I was the Jen who wanted so badly to be pregnant. I didn’t know if or when that dream of a baby would come true. My son was my happiness during the holidays. This time last year I was reminded that the year before I was pregnant and soon lost that baby. That on top of the fact that in a years time I wasn’t pregnant again, and I began to wonder if it was in the cards for me.

But look at me now! I get to hold my baby girl in my arms. If I could tell anyone who wants a baby and is having trouble or someone going through a hard time that “this too shall pass”. I blogged in the past about what a difference a year makes and I am reminded yeet again. Sometimes I wish our future selves could tell us… “Hey…it will all be OK”, but we can’t. We just have to trust that we will end up where we are supposed to.

As I look at my daughter and my son I just feel so blessed, especially when I remember how far we’ve come. We took a long road to get here, but we are here…together. So I wish today’s Jen could’ve told last year’s Jen it would be OK. But that’s not the way it works…