Do you remember the movie “a league of their own?” Remember when Tom Hanks says ” are you crying? Are you crying? There’s no crying in baseball!” Well that is exactly what you are supposed to think about when you read this title. Yes my dear friends I am bluntly telling you that as a mother I no longer have any time to wallow in self pity. Whether it be a hang over or I’m just plain tired or sick I still have to get up, take care of my son and be the best mom I can be…

I have now accepted that my party days are well behind me. I am at peace with that because I had MANY years to get it out of my system. Sometimes people don’t understand why I am happy to stay home on a Friday or Saturday night. But to me it is usually soooo not worth the crappy day that will follow. Even a couple drinks leaves me dragging in the morning. Christian is a good sleeper, but it always seems that he likes to wake bright and early on those nights I am up later than usual, and it’s pretty much a guarantee if I had too much to drink. I find myself cursing when he wakes up, and I then plop myself on the couch to turn on the TV. It’s only 6:30 am, and I am counting the hours till he goes to sleep. Now in my eyes that’s not fair to my son. He doesn’t know mommy is tired, and most importantly he doesn’t care.

The other week Christian got the stomach bug, and of course I in turn got it too. I thank my lucky stars that the throwing up began AFTER he went to sleep. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if he was awake and wanting to play while I felt sick. He luckily took 2 naps the next day and I napped too, but it’s certainly not like it used to be when I could wallow in front of the TV feeling sorry for myself. No way! Not anymore!

I think the hardest part is not being able to “catch up”. Before motherhood, if I had a long week, I knew that I could catch up on the weekends. Sleep in one day and all would be good. If I went out late one night, then I would sleep late then nap. All would be well. But that’s no longer the case, and I have a feeling it will never be again. There is no sleeping in. Even if The Captain gets up (which isn’t often) I hear them downstairs, or my head starts to spin on what I should be doing. Naps are a very rare thing, since the only time I have to get things done is when he is sleeping. No catch up for me!

It is a very long day when I am tired. Most of the time it’s just not worth it. I feel better about myself and life in general when I get a good nights sleep. Some people can live off very little sleep, but not this girl. My weekends on the couch nursing a hangover are long gone. Maybe I’m growing up, or maybe I’m just getting more sense, but I now know I hate to feel like crap. A glass or two of wine at dinner and early to bed makes for a perfect evening for me….Maybe I’m just getting old?

A little while ago I hosted wine club and chose “bring your favorite bottle of wine” to be the theme. Wine club meets each month and with each month we choose a region of the world to try wine from. I thought I would mix it up a bit and let everyone try people’s favorites. It was a fun experiment and as always it was fun to taste new wine. But let’s face it…I can be pretty happy with almost any wine!

Wine Club Favorites

Let me start by saying that everyone admitted to bringing their favorite wine that they had on hand. This wasn’t the assignment, but what can you do?

Here are the contenders!

• Wolffer Estate- Brut Blanc de Blanc 2007
• La Florinda- Torrontes 2010
• Martha Clara- Rose’
• Cupcake Vinyard- Pino Noir
• Bogle Vineyard- Petite Sirah
• Bertani Due Uve-Syrah Merlot

Some runners up from those that could not attend.

• Vineyard 48 Riesling (2007)
• La Crema Vineyard- Pinot Noir

I have to vouch for Vineyard 48 myself….Not cheap, but oh so yummy!!!

After tasting them all we crowned the winner… MY PICK Cupcake Vinyard Pino Noir! ($10.99) I recently have been obsessed with this brand. They even have one called Red Velvet…just the name sounds so smooth and tasty!

I love wine club, I love meeting and chatting with the girls each month. It takes two of my favorite things and puts them together…talking and wine. Who could ask for more!?

What’s your favorite wine?? I am always looking to add to the “must try” list!

I was surfing around Pinterest the other day, and I kept seeing all these beautiful beaches and locations that I could only dream about visiting. Then I reminded myself that maybe someday I really could go a fantastic beach getaway. It would be MARVELOUS! Then I thought about it a little more….would I ever REALLY get to enjoy a “relaxing” vacation again? As a mom can I ever really “get away”? Will a vacation every feel like it used to ever again?

I am not ready to leave our son for a period of time longer than 1 night at this point. I’ve only done it one time, and I am not rushing to do it again right now. The Captain and I really need some “us” time, so I am mentally preparing myself for a two night trip I am planning in early summer. I have signed my parents up as babysitters, and I am booking it. We really need some time away. I am hoping by then I will feel ready to get away. Even if not, then I am sure once I get there all will be good. But I know that my son will always be on my mind. What is he doing? Is he fine with out me? Most of all I will miss him. Heck I even miss him after I put him to bed at night!

Then I begin to think about our future trips. The bigger ones. The ones that include a plane flight. If it’s just Captain Awesome and I lounging on the beach will I ever be able to fully relax? Will my mind ever truly be able to drift away into margaritaville like it used to? Even if I am dying to get away, I have a sinking feeling the answer is no. I never will be able to truly forget my life back home like I used to.

I am looking forward to taking vacations with my son also, but again I am fully aware that it will never actually be a vacation. Even if it is at the beach I can’t get lost in a book, or sip cocktails till I fall asleep. Not any more. My son will need my full attention. Sure, maybe The Captain and I will get a nice dinner out if we are lucky enough to travel with the Grandparents, but it will never be the same.

I am so thankful that I got to travel so much pre having kids. The Captain and I went away many times and enjoyed every second of it. It’s just weird to think how different it will all be from now on.

Do you agree? Will my vacations forever be changed?

So what happened to my little angel? Where did he go, and when did this little one who throws fits show up? Before you think I’m a bad mom for taking a video of this I’d like to say something in my defense…he wasn’t hurt he was just mad…so I laughed about it. You have to right? Isn’t that how you get through these fits?

Why was he throwing this fit you ask? Well, he wanted something on the counter that I wouldn’t give him…so this was the outcome. I guess the terrible two’s start at 1? He certainly has a mind of his own!

But you know what he did after? He put his arms around my neck and gave me a HUGE hug and kiss. Then I wiped away his tears and we made up. He was back to being my little angel.

Now I have this video to embarrass him for years to come. Ahhh the joys of being a mom!

I can’t believe we have come back around to Christmas. It is my most favorite time of year, and last years Christmas, although different, was so special because my son was in my life. Now, this year, we are back to celebrating in the ways that I know and love with an added addition, and I could not be more excited. On this Christmas Eve…Eve…I get to wait in anticipation for my son’s SECOND Christmas. Such a magical time of year!

Finding out the “truth” about Santa Claus pretty much destroyed me. After that I still had my brother and sister to bring the magic to, but after that I have to admis some of the Christmas magic was lost. But a child changes everything. Having a child brings everything that is wonderful about the Christmas season back again.

My dad cracked jokes about all the presents I wrapped so that Santa could be good to Christian. I put little stickers on them saying “To: Christian From: Santa”. He said that he wouldn’t know the difference, but you know what? I would. Maybe alot of it is for me, but whatever. Christmas is about the kid now. I told my family that I didn’t want any presents for me and I meant it. Any money that they would’ve spent on me should go to my son. Does he “need” anything? NO! But I get so much joy out of watching him get things that that is more of a present then I could ever get! Christmas needs to be all about him and and I couldn’t be happier.

This Christmas will be spent with me or The Captain opening all of Christian’s presents, with him being most excited about the wrapping paper and boxes they came in. That’s OK. I know that it will be a Christmas that I will remember forever. Hey, even last year when he was 4 weeks old I made The Captain sit there with Christian and open all of his presents from Santa Christmas morning. Can you imagine next year?

So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! I hope you have a fantastic holiday and that Santa treats you well! I know you all deserve it!

When someone has a baby, people throw around the saying “It takes a village.” Well, I came to find out that saying is true, because I lived it myself. On August 4th, 2005 my daughter was born after I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Not much morning sickness–or evening or afternoon, for that matter. But we found out when I was about to deliver that she was coming out butt end first. The doctors quickly did a C-section and we had a healthy baby. At that point, our “village” came around us right away. They were my parents, my husband’s family and a lot of friends who came by to meet baby Lily. Everything was going good, and we were not at all prepared for what was about to happen to us.

Things change when a baby comes. Until Lily was born I ran a salon in a large business that had three of them, and I was part owner. I had 20-some employees and also worked at a chair myself. After I was home a few weeks, I went back to work but I was not happy to leave my baby. After I worked about a month, I started to feel tired and out of breath, with no energy. I thought it was one of the changes from having a baby. Then I started to lose a lot of weight–up to seven pounds a week. I did not think that was normal, and went to the doctor in November. I explained my symptoms and after blood tests and an X-ray of my chest, they found out I had fluid around my left lung. Then a scan and more tests were done, and biopsies. On November 21, 2005, when Lily was three and a half months old, I was told I had malignant pleural mesothelioma–cancer in the lung lining caused by being exposed to asbestos. It turns out I was exposed to asbestos in childhood, and here I was, 30 years later, with mesothelioma.

I thought first of my baby and my husband, and we knew we had to do everything we could to save my life, because if we didn’t, I had 15 months to live. We left Lily with my parents and went to Boston for drastic surgery called extrapleural pneumenectomy, along with radiation and chemotherapy. I was in the hospital 18 days, and took two more months to get back to caring for Lily. I never went back to work because it would be too hard with one lung.

During this whole ordeal, we really learned that our village was people from different parts and times of our lives, and all of them loved and cared for us, and that gave us so much help to go on. Out of bad, comes good at times, and it did for us. Overall, our Faith in God keeps everything going for us, and we have Faith to believe everything will be okay and I will be here to raise our daughter. Embrace life, and remember in dark days other people love you and will help you, and you will be okay again. I am thankful for all the good that came to us through others after a bad diagnosis.

You can read more about Heather and get her full story on The Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor Blog

Halloween is quickly approaching and it’s always to find new ways of celebrating. Are you familiar with Spookley? Spookley is great Halloween story about a square pumpkin that learns the thing that makes you different makes you special. On Halloween after all the trick or treating end the night with the story of Spookley. As a matter of fact, Spookley was named the official Spokes-Pumpkin of Bullying Prevention month (October) by PACER organization encouraging kids to SPEAK UP, REACH OUT, BE A FRIEND.

Here are some ways you can participate in Spookley events.

The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin book

At Barnes & Noble stores and online.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com <http://www.barnesandnoble.com>

Spookley Themed Farm Attractions

Throughout the US and Canada including Water Mill, NY; Stillwater, MN; Bakersfield, CA; Oklahoma City, OK; Midland, TX; Saskatchewan, Canada

http://www.spookley.com/farm_affiliates.html <http://www.spookley.com/farm_affiliates.html>

Spookley Movie in Theaters

35 States: cities include Bridgeport, CT; Anaheim, CA; Pittsburgh, PA; Las Vegas, NV; Brooklyn, NY http://www.kidtoonfilms.com <http://www.kidtoonfilms.com>

Spookley on the Web

LIKE! Spookley on Facebook at  http://www.facebook.com/HolidayHillFarm <http://www.facebook.com/HolidayHillFarm>

Follow Spookley on Twitter @HolidayHillFarm

Spookley App available on iTunes, bn.com and amazon.com

In our household I am responsible for most things baby. If you think of the stereotypical husband and wife roles, you can think of us. I run the family and home, and he runs the finances. That means that I am in charge of anticipating my son’s needs, and that my friends keeps my brain on overdrive 24/7. As much as I love the job, sometimes I just want to go out and turn my mind to the OFF position. The problem is that I know that’s no longer possible. Now, and for the foreseeable future I get to live with the double edged sword. Wanting to relax and let loose, but always keeping my family in mind when I finally do.

The other day my friend and I were joking how nice it would be to be our husbands, and how easily they can flip the responsibility “switch” and go out and relax (or so it seems). We on the other hand constantly worry about everything under the sun, and no matter how much we may try, we never truly allow ourselves to relax.

Take wine club for instance. That is my “girls night out” once a month. Even though I am enjoying my time with the girls, in the back of my head I always think about my son at home….Is he having trouble sleeping? Then, once I remind myself that he is perfectly fine, I start to think about how early he will be up in the morning, and how crappy I will feel ALL DAY if I drink too much.

Thus far The Captain and I haven’t slept away from our son. He has been away, but I haven’t been able to, or want to. Since I have been breastfeeding I knew it would be physically hard, but more importantly I haven’t WANTED to leave him. I think I would always think about him at home, and to be honest I think it would ruin my time away. There is that double edged sword again! Wanting to get away, but knowing that once I got there I’d always be thinking about home!

Most of the family men I know are able to pick up and go with out much regret. The moms I know on the other hand have their kids tied to both their hips and their heart…therefore making it much more difficult to get out and let loose. Is it just the nature of motherhood? Or maybe it’s just me, and I just truly enjoy playing house at home with my son? Either way, I have a feeling that this w

Before you think…”OMG Jen is holding a gun!”….I will tell you that it’s a bee bee gun and I am shooting at cans (not very well might I add!). ANYWHO! Last weekend The Captain, our little man, our little Tinkerbell and myself hopped in the car and traveled to the Poconos to spend the weekend with my family. As a matter of fact Captain Awesome and I visited this house before two years ago when we went on a bit of a “weekend retreat” to heal after I had the miscarriage. It felt great to return this time with our son, and the rest of my family to spend some quality time together.

I’d like to give a shout out to my brother in law and sister for setting it all up. The house is owned by his family, and it was EXTREMELY cool of them to allow us to spend the weekend there. I love when we get to do things such as this with my family because I am a true believer that good memories are so important for a family and getaways such as this allows for many great memories to be created. Although we didn’t do much in terms of activities, just being together took us all out of our mundane daily activities to do and be somewhere different.

It’s funny that if you sit on your couch in your home it’s called being lazy, but if you sit around when you are away it’s called “vacation”. When my family gets together we do alot of sitting, but one thing that doesn’t lack is the laughter. Just give us a couple bottles of wine, a lot of beer and you get a recipe for silliness! Even when our night time bonfire got disrupted by 2 pesky skunks!

All in all it was a wonderful weekend away in the woods with my family. I was happy they got to love and play with our little man, and I always enjoy spending time with them. Maybe we can make this an annual thing!?

I have never been shy in admitting my love for TV. I’m not necessarily proud of it, but that is how I relax at the end of the night. With our son it has been a wee bit harder to keep up on my favorite shows due to lack of “sitting on my butt” time, but don’t you worry…I still get them in! But every couple of years my poor little heart gets broken when one of my favorite shows comes to an end. I guess I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I feel like I get invested in the characters lives…and then it’s over!?

The series finale of Entourage left me thinking about many of the other series that I grew to love. There are few ways that a series ends. One…it ends like life is going to continue for those characters as usual. In other words there really is no end. Some shows tie things up rather nicely, and others leave you wanting more. I am not sure which way I like the best. If they go with the “life goes on” approach like on Brother’s and Sisters, although I am satisfied knowing the characters are happy, I feel a bit sad that I don’t get to find out what happens next. When shows tie things up, like in Lost, I am happy to finally get a conclusion, but sometimes I am not very happy with the conclusion and am left frustrated. The wanting more approach is my least favorite. This is how they ended Entourage. I get that they plan on making a movie, but still. Come on people! How can you call that a series finale????

When I think about my LEAST favorite series finale, I have to think straight to Will and Grace. I was so mad at that one! How can you take a show, that is entirely about the long running friendship of two people, and end it with them growing apart and not being friends. WHAT!? That is not what happens to Will and Grace. So in my version, Will and Grace remain friends forever! Take that show writers!

My favorite series finale has to be Friends. That series remained funny through out, and I thought that they did a good job rounding up all the loose ends and leaving you satisfied that the characters would be ok. I was sad that the characters were moving on, but I guess it was time…lol….so I was ok….

What are some of your favorite and least favorite series finales. Do you get as invested as I do? Probably not, but that’s ok…..

Ok…random thought over…