At this point I am pretty much disgusted with my inability to keep my house clean. What the hell is wrong with me? How is it that I am so bad at putting things away once I take them out? How can I be so bad at cleaning up after my family? Most importantly, how can I look at the mess every day and continue to leave it there? How do women do it? Is it in the genes? Is it more of a drive? Or is it just that they are better at being a housewife then I am? How did those perfect housewives of the 50’s do it? Forget them, how did my Grandma do it? Someone please tell me the secret!

My grandmother has every single drape in her possession not hung up marked with the date that she last washed and ironed them….did you read that??? WASHED AND IRONED! My drapes have NEVER been washed or ironed. Even when she was 85 years old she still got herself off the couch to dust. I can bet that she dusted more than me! Now that is sad!

My home is what I like to call “lived in”. If you surprised me on any given day you would find toys all over the floor, stuff lining my stairs just asking to be taken up, The Captains work laying out in his “office” (the kitchen table), and shoes piled up in front of the front door (Captain Awesome’s favorite spot to leave them). It’s not pretty by any means, but it’s home.

My question is when do you get it done? I spend every moment my son’s awake playing with him on the floor. I never put him in a pack and play so I could do other things. Right, wrong or indifferent all my energy goes into occupying my son. Then when’ he’s asleep I am either working, or have ZERO desire to clean because I am exhausted from the day. So what’s your secret?

Do I just accept that my home will never be the clean home? Do I train myself to be a better housewife? What do you suggest? There has to be a better way! What did Donna Reed and my Grandma know that I don’t?

I have always loved to be the hostess. Whether its for a quiet night in, game night or a nice dinner party I prefer to have people over to my house. It’s not that my house is set up great to entertain (it’s not), but I just truly enjoy having people over. Am I good at it? Not necessarily, but it’s fun. That all changed when I was pregnant and especially when I had my son. For some reason I lost the desire to host things at my house. It was the dinner party that really got pushed aside. When my son was born I couldn’t even make dinner for myself let alone others. The good news is that after over a year I finally have that desire to host again. How great is that!? I’m back to being the hostess!

It kind of came out of no where. The Captain and I decided to have people over for New Years Eve. Even though we ordered in food, I brought out my china and crystal and we had a nice dinner. I lit candles and cleaned the house and it was fun! Then the next week I suggested we invite 2 couples from my Captain Awesome’s work over for dinner. This time I cooked! We did appetizers, entre (Rachel Ray’s Lazy Baked Greek Chicken)  and dessert and I loved it! The little guy was put to bed and I was able to start my night. I loved the feeling that I COULD do this.

Later that weekend I cooked dinner for the inlaws (meatballs and sauce), and again, I proved to myself that I can take care of my son, but still make things for others. I am sure for some it’s easy, but for me it all sounded so overwhelming for a while.

In the past I hosted wine tasting parties in the back yard, 80’s themed parties and murder mystery parties. It was so fun! I want to get back to doing that. Who doesn’t love a good theme party!?

My house will never be the cleanest,I will never be the best cook, and maybe someday I will have the perfect home to entertain, but I think what makes a great hostess is someone who looks forward to having the job. Most of all I like people to be comfortable. Sit back, relax and enjoy. This hostess is back….now what should I do for my next dinner party?

TV and Furniture tip over related deaths and injuries are not slowing down. A child is killed once every two weeks, and tens of thousands are injured every year. When I read the article that the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission put out I was scared. I was scared because I watch my son pull up on things every day, and as much as you think “not my kid”, it could in fact be your kid that gets hurt, and doing whatever you can to safe guard your home is the way to start.

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission,

A new data report (pdf) shows that between 2000 and 2010, CPSC staff received reports of 245 tip-over-related deaths involving children 8 years old and younger. More than 90 percent of the incidents involved children 5 years old and younger. In more than half of the 245 fatalities (56%), the child was crushed by the weight of the television, furniture, or appliance. The majority of these children suffered fatal injuries to the head (67%).

In addition, more than 22,000 children 8 years old and younger are treated in hospital emergency rooms every year (2008-2010) for injuries related to instability or tipover of televisions, furniture, and appliances. And like the fatalities, a majority of these injuries (56%) are to the head

What scary statistics!? When I had a professional baby proofer come into my home he pointed out all the things that could be tipped over. At first I didn’t believe it was all necessary, but as I watched my son pull up on things, I began to see how easily it could be pulled down.

The most common tip-over scenarios involve toddlers who have climbed onto, fallen against or pulled themselves up on furniture. About 70 percent of children’s fatalities (169 incidents) involved falling televisions, and 27 percent (65 incidents) involved only furniture falling. Of the 135 child fatalities where furniture fell by itself or fell with a TV, the majority of incidents (64%) involved a chest, dresser, or a bureau. Often, these pieces of furniture have drawers that children can use to climb.

To prevent tragedies follow these safety tips in any home where children live or visit:

• Anchor furniture to the wall or the floor.
• Place TVs on sturdy, low bases.
• Or, anchor the furniture and the TV on top of it, and push the TV as far back on the furniture as possible.
• Keep remote controls, toys, and other items that might attract children off TV stands or furniture.
• Keep TV and/or cable cords out of reach of children.
• Make sure freestanding kitchen ranges and stoves are installed with anti-tip brackets.
• Supervise children in rooms where these safety tips have not been followed.

KidCo offer both an Anti Tipping furniture Strap, and Anti Tipping TV strap to help protect those items from causing your child harm.

Not only do you have to be diligent in your own home, but what about grandparents and friends? It’s here that we forget about safety sometimes, and their TV can be pulled down just as easily as your own.

The bottom line? It’s important to be aware of the dangers in your home. When I was made aware of this report from the U.S. Product Safety Commission I was shocked, so I thought it was important to share the information with all of you. Do with it as you wish!

But let’s not pretend that such a thing is easy even if it’s practical. We have entire lives in the places we call home. Family, friends, favorite restaurants and landmarks, all factor into the majority of people’s decisions to stay right where they grew up and go no where else. It’d be hard to find a person on Earth who doesn’t feel this way. It’s not easy saying goodbye to the surroundings we’ve grown comfortable with even if we can’t find work or if we can’t find further opportunity in our hometowns.

Add that to the fact that unemployment and opportunity varies from city to city and state to state. Do so, and it doesn’t take much to assume that if more Americans were willing to move to another city, our unemployment rate would be a little lower than what it is today. Competition between applicants for professional positions would also be lowered if people were more willing to disperse themselves. Online MBA programs, for example, allow people to study a professional calling anywhere, so they can live anywhere their skill sets are most demanded.

Couples where one or both spouses are unsure as to how they’ll find work or how they’ll find a promotion need to at least consider the benefits of getting enrolled into an online school if it means the chance for better opportunity. It could be UOP or any of the other accredited choices, so long as it allows for moving if necessary. Education is essential, but if opportunity is elsewhere, you don’t want to be tied down with a program in a traditional university.

Why should new couples looking for work get cracking on possibly moving to another town as soon as possible? Number one, there will be no better time to do so. Do you think having kids makes such a transition easier? Number two, let’s be honest: you could sure use all of those gifts from your wedding and monies received to fund and fuel your move. And number three, you have each other as opposed to moving independently. The team effort always increases the odds of success.

At least think about moving. Peruse the Bureau of Labor Statistics employment data on American cities. Research regions of the country to find somewhere that has a demand for the talent or education you or your spouse offers. Analyze locations to see if you find one particular city alluring. Every marriage needs its inaugural adventure. Relocating might be best when there aren’t many opportunities left where you came from. If you’re taking the best part of your life with you, there’s no worrying about what you’re leaving behind.

Guest post by Jess

I find it absolutely amazing how much “stuff” one can collect over the years. I have lived in my own home for about 9 years at this point (meaning stuff isn’t at my parents), and over that time I have accumulated more “stuff” than anyone could possibly need. As The Captain will be quick to tell you, most of it really serves no real purpose, but they are my things and therefore I value them. Hey, it’s quite possible that even if I don’t need the things now, I may need it in the future right? So therefore we keep it. Now, with a new baby in the house I have a feeling that “stuff” is going to grow exponentially…what the heck will I do with it all?

We currently live in a two bedroom townhouse, and I must admit we are quickly growing out of it. Yes, a lot of people out there live in smaller quarters than we do. But for me, I am starting to feel cramped. One great feature of our house is the attic. Although Captain Awesome HATES going up there (it’s a pull down steps attic), I hope he can at least admit that it serves it’s purpose well. At this point I have filled that attic up to it’s capacity. What’s in there? I sometimes don’t even know! Some of the main things are my “seasonal” decorations. I love to decorate our home for each season, and I have a TON of bins filled with “stuff” so that I can do it. Are they necessary? No…but they make me happy.

Our son doesn’t even play with toys yet, and our living area is filled with different apparatuses to keep him content. The swing…the exersaucer…the pack and play…all large items. Soon we will be adding toys, walkers and even a jumparoo! All things that take up room. And with grandparents who love to spoil him, I have a feeling that there will be a lot more where that came from!

At one point The Captain and I thought about renting a storage unit, and considered using Storage Concierge to find one that suited us, but after looking into it further we found the prices to be way more than we wanted to spend. Could we go through and purge some stuff? Sure! But I doubt that Captain Awesome and I could agree on what to keep and what to throw out. Not to mention that The Captain hates to throw things out period. So that leaves us back where we started…with lots and lots of STUFF!

Everyone tells me that it doesn’t matter how big of a home we move in to, and no matter what we’d fill that space up to the max. More space means more stuff. I think I can believe that. I am not looking into moving all this stuff out of here down the line. I can only imagine how many more things we’ll accumulate by that time. Just think where we’ll be 20 years down the line!?  I cringe just thinking about it!

When I started this blog, my main goal was to share about my life as a wife. I was newly married, and I really strived at being a good housewife. Why was it so important? Well, it’s because it was what I wanted to be…I work for the money, but I really feel/felt that my calling was to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and at that time I was really able to focus on the “wife” part, so that’s what I did. Over time the blog kind of transformed along with the different paths my life decided to take. Now, I am finally a mother, and loving every second of it…but with all my energy now going into taking care of our child, I feel that my duties with work and around the home have really lacked. I think it’s time to create a new balance in my life to mirror all my new roles….mother, wife, maid, cook, sales person….well you see where I am going.

As you may or may not know I work from home, so for a while that made me a “Work At Home Wife” . Now, not only am I home taking care of our child, I also need to keep up my work load.. so I guess that now makes me a “Work At Home Mom”. I think this is a little different than a SAHM because it adds just one more dynamic to the mix. I know in the long run that I am so very lucky to be able to work from home, but that meant immediately after having my child I was taking work phone calls from the hospital. It also means that I do my work while my son is feeding on my breast, being burped or taking a nap. Basically, any moment that has him quiet. It is a great set up for me and my family, and I know I am lucky to be able to do it. But with our son being my top priority…sometimes work becomes a little more difficult. I am lucky my boss (my dad) has been picking up my slack!

The Captain laughs at me when I try to take on a task rather then having someone else help. Tasks like grocery shopping or bringing in the dry cleaning. My answer to why I don’t want someone to watch the baby while doing these things is “I have to figure it out”. I do! It’s going to be my job to do these things…I want it to be my job, so I have to learn to do it myself WITH the baby. Isn’t that what SAHM’s do? My mom was a SAHM of 3 kids and was able to do everything involving the house. I want to be able to do that too. If that means a bit of a learning curve so be it…I’m up for the challenge.

Things like grocery shopping and cooking are more of a challenge now. I still haven’t figured out how to bring the infant seat into the store and still be able to do a large shopping trip…anyone suggest how that works? If you put the seat into the cart where does the food go? If I bring in the stroller how do I push the cart? For now I am using Pea Pod, the Stop and Shop Grocery delivery service. They are offering free shipping for the next 60 days so that should give me some time to figure it all out. For now, it’s great shopping online and having the groceries delivered to my door. Cooking? Another challenge. I try to do things when the baby is sleeping but sometimes that is hard to do, and it seems that feeding time always comes right when I want to cook. See I like my food hot and served right after cooking. I’m not big on cooking earlier in the day and reheating…just not my thing. I seem to be cooking a few times a week…again, I’m still learning.

The cleaning? A smaller challenge but one none the less. The Captain was nice enough to allow us to get a cleaning lady come this past weekend to do a major clean. See, since my mom left after helping with the baby when he was born I hadn’t been able to do a major clean, and then the holidays came and the house just became a mess. Now, I think I will be able to keep up with the clean since I am starting out with a clean house. Let’s hope that works! If not I do my best…a spic and span house has never been my forte..

So as you can see I am learning. I am learning to balance all the aspects of my life, or at least trying to. The one major thing is that everything else is secondary to taking care of my son. That will always come first. The rest can wait if it needs to.

Man have I been a lazy bones recently! It’s the worst! People tell me to rest while I still can, and I think I am taking that advice way to literally. My house is a disaster, and I wish I could say that I was doing something so productive that I just don’t have time to clean my house, but the reality is that’s not true. In fact, that would be an outright lie, because my free time is spent napping, or just sitting on my couch. Don’t get me wrong I love it, but I also love a clean house. Do you think I could just be like Samantha from Bewitched and just wiggle my nose to get the house cleaned?? Then I could have a clean house AND sit on my couch….no?? Bummer! Instead I guess I have to go back to the basics. A while back I did a post about creating a chore chart. It was great, it worked well and my house looked great. The best part about it is I only spent no more than 30 minutes a day cleaning! But somehow I stopped following the chart along the way and it got hard again, so I have to get back on track and get back to the chore chart.

 The sad thing is I have the chore chart staring at my on my bullitine board in front of my desk. Each days task is simple and easy, and doesn’t take much time, but as the end of the work day rolls around I decide to put off that days task onto the next day…then the next…then the next and it doesn’t get done. I am hoping that by writing this post I am guilting myself into starting the charts back up next week. That’s right dear readers! Monday I PROMISE to get back on track….oh wait, Monday is memorial day…well dear readers I PROMISE to get back on track on Tuesday! I promise this isn’t a cop out. I will be at my parents house in PA this weekend and won’t be back till Tuesday, so really I COULDN’T start the chart till then.

A clean house just feels wonderful. I wish I could remember that instead of my desire to do nothing. For now, I am hoping you guys can keep me on track. Do you have a chore chart or any type of organized cleaning schedule? What works for you? Maybe your ideas can motivate me!!!

If I were the type of person who’s house was always clean, and at any given time if someone visited I would be proud, then there would be no problem. But this is not the case with my home. I usually use guests as an excuse to do a good clean. So I found myself running around the house cleaning in order to make it presentable. In the end the gathering was a success, and I was happy with the way things turned out.

Last Minute Hostess Tips

•  Clean the bathrooms: Do a quick once over in each bathroom. Empty the garbage can, and clean the toilets. No one likes a dirty bathroom
• Vacuum the floors. This is a quick way to get things to look neat and clean
• Get rid of the clutter: it doesn’t matter how…either really put it where it is supposed to go, or shove it in a drawer or closet and deal with it later.
• Dim the lights and light some candles: no one is going to notice dusty furniture in candle light. It will look like you thought out the ambiance, and it will make your house smell good
• Put on some music: This will give the idea that you always sit around and listen to relaxing tunes, your guests will be impressed

This year I wasn’t going to be blind sided again. No sir not me! This year, I prepared for the last minutes guests. This year when Captain Awesome called to tell me people were coming over, I was able to calmly say…Alright Dear! So I cleaned the house..lit the candles and got the place ready. Wait for it…wait for it….then I got a call saying that they were going to the boss’s house instead! I cleaned in vain! I guess if you wanted to look on the bright side you could say that it can’t hurt to have a clean house. I’m not sure what was worse…being unprepared for last minute guests or being prepared for no guests at all? What do you think?

My husband and I were very lucky to end up in our section of the neighborhood. As you know we live in a town house community, and it is a known fact that since you are connected to your neighbor that it is quite possible they could make you very miserable. Since we are “social” people and some would say “loud”,(ok we like to party) we were very worried about who we would end up with as neighbors. But boy did we worry for nothing because we ended up being blessed with the best neighbors we could ask for.

Let’s start with our neighbors to the right and left of us.(you can see them in the picture I attached at the top). To my right is young couple who are the same age as my and my husband. We are extremely similar and have become very good friends. Sometimes I feel like I am back in college when it comes to these two because we party together, watch TV and sports games in each other’s homes, and me and “M” even exchange shoes and clothes. It’s wonderful. To my left is another amazing couple who have an amazing little girl. Little “L” always makes me smile and gives the best little hugs. Her mom “S” is great to talk to and I know that I can count on her if I need her.

If you branch out to the rest of our row of houses you will find many other great couples. There are kids and adults and I love coming out around 7 PM on a nice evening to find everyone outside just talking and socializing. It’s just how I grew up. Just yesterday I wandered down the street to visit my friend who just had a baby boy, and ended up eating pizza and watching a girly movie. Who wouldn’t love that? With all the gossiping going on here we joke that we live in Melrose place or on Wisteria lane.

Over the past two years of living here I really made some great friends. We know this isn’t our forever home, so it’s sad to think that we may not get this lucky again. But for now we will enjoy our home, and enjoy the great people we’ve met.

Last year around Christmas time I had an impromptu gathering at my home with my husbands co workers after their work Christmas party. There was no plans of having this party, but when one of the wives arrived she showed up with a beautiful Christmas ornament. I was shocked! A hostess gift! It seems that she buys things through out the year, and has them on hand when there comes a time where a little gift is warranted. What a great idea! I find that my mom does the same thing. She will see something on sale at Kohls or Target and buys it in order to give at a later date. To be honest my group of friends don’t really seem to do gifts, at least not that I’ve seen and at least not when they come to an event at my house. But to be fair I in turn have not really given hostess gifts either. People do tend to bring over wine, or alcohol when the come by…but that normally gets drank in the same evening!

I now must ask this question. Is it a generational thing? Has the art of the hostess gift gone down the tubes with my generation? Or is it just the people I know? At first I found myself leaning towards the fact that it is the people I know, because on two separate occasions I had a friend over as an overnight house guest, and both people came with a small gift. 1 with some great baked goods, and the other with a cute little candle set. But, after looking into more closely for this post, I found that most of the events I host, or attend do not warrant a hostess gift. Here is what I found on the 1800 Flowers Website. Here they are giving tips from the Emily Post Institute for Etiquette

When Should I Bring A Hostess Gift?

Cocktail party
Host and Hostess gifts are completely optional for cocktail parties. But if you’re in a generous mood, a bottle of wine or a batch of blueberry muffins for the next morning—or, for the holidays, something seasonal, like an ornament—would be thoughtful. Be sure to enclose a gift card so the host won’t wonder whose thought it was that counts.

Dinner party
Yes, bring a gift, but keep it simple and under $25. Anything that distracts the host may be a nuisance. A bottle of wine, a small potted plant, a flower arrangement already in a vase, candles, or soaps are better bets. Present the gift to your host when you arrive, or leave it on an entry way table if your host isn’t there to greet you.

Casual get together such as brunch
A gift is optional. You may choose instead to bring something to the meal—a side dish, dessert or drink. But ask: just showing up with a tray of Danish puts the host on the spot.

Overnight stay
A gift is mandatory. You can present the gift upon your arrival, during your stay, or after your exit. Consider giving your hosts something you note in the course of your visit that would be right for them, like a tray that goes with their color scheme. The longer the stay, the more expensive or elaborate the gift. For example, for a weekend stay, you may decide to send flowers. If you’ve stayed for three nights or more, a gift certificate to the host’s favorite spa or restaurant would be a good bet.

I think these are pretty cut and dry rules that we can all use as a reference. So it turns out that my friends do follow the ettiquette correctly! In the end I think it’s always nice to bring some sort of token to the hostess when you come to an event. As someone who loves being the hostess, it takes a lot of hard work and planning to put together an event, and it’s always nice to be appreciated!