When it comes to raising the kid, I have to say that I pretty much am President, CEO, Captain….or whatever term you want to use to mean…in charge. Yes, our little guy has two parents, but the day to day stuff is left to me. Captain Awesome obviously gets asked about the bigger stuff, but to be honest I do most of the child rearing. That is why it really drives me crazy when he decides to come home and “suggests” how I do my job. Doesn’t he know that Mommy knows best?

The other day he came home from work and starts complaining that the TV is on. So he says “I’m turning it off”. I said….”good luck and see how that goes”. That in turn set our little guy into an absolute tizzy. As you can imagine, after a long day being with the little guy sometimes a little TV is necessary for my sanity. I may have been able to hold strong if it were earlier in the day, but by that time I was pretty much done with the day…and a screaming kid was not what I needed. So….the TV went back on.

I find it hilarious when he has to change a poopy diaper. There have been about 7 in the past 16 months that he’s changed. Yesterday I came home from an appointment to find him trying to tell me how absolutely horrible the diaper was while I was gone. I then had to remind him that yes…..I change multiple poopy diapers every day and that I am pretty positive the one he saw that day was not in fact the worst one ever.

I have to remind The Captain regularly that somehow, me and the kid get through the day alive without his help and suggestions. How do we do it? How do I make a dinner without him reminding me to stir? How do I even make it through the day as a mom with out him? I am not always sure….but you know what? I do make it through the day. Surprise…surprise!

I love him to death but I would like him to see me come to his work and tell him how to do his job better. I have a pretty good feeling he’d tell me to go to to hell right away. Honey…I think that will would be better written if you did this….or Dear…Are you sure you want to recommend that estate plan? Baby….that life insurance plan is just ridiculous. Doesn’t he see that is sort of is the same thing? Not exactly the same….but sort of?

Don’t get me wrong. Of course it’s his son too….but I am the one that is charge of the day to day. I got it covered…and if I don’t? I am the one who has to deal with the fallout.

I am sure someday daddy will know best. Especially when it comes to having a little boy…but for now the “Monday morning  quarterback” is slightly annoying. When it comes to the day to day? I got this dear….I got this…

Dear Christian,

I can’t believe that it was about this time one year ago when your mom (a/k/a The Wife) said the scariest words I have ever heard in my life “My Water Just Broke!”  I proceeded to act like a stereotypical male running around packing bags and getting dressed when she informed me we had hours till we left for the hospital and I should try to get some sleep.  Somehow I went back to bed, but when I woke up it was on! Or so we thought.

We rushed to the hospital only to find out we had an estimated 10 hours to go.  Your mom is generally a wuss so what she thought was the middle was only the beginning.  It actually took a brief 17 hours from start to finish!  Boy was I tired walking around that hospital and worrying, but for some reason I didn’t get much sympathy.

Prior to having you in my life I hated when people said, “when you have a child you’ll understand” or “things will be different when you have a kid.”  It infuriated me to think I couldn’t empathize with someone just because you weren’t born yet.  It sucks to admit it “they” were right.  Having you come into my life has completely changed it.

As anyone in my life with testify, I am not a morning person, prior to you being born I contemplated suicide ever morning as I usually only sleep a terrible 5 to 6 hours a night.  However, when your mom brings you into see me as I am getting ready for work brings a joy to my heart I never had before.  While on that subject, you started this new thing where you will cry when I leave for work, yeah that doesn’t kill me or anything! Come on buddy!

It doesn’t matter how tired (or cough cough hung over) I might be you make me smile just from you being you.  Since you were born I have a drive to be home more.  I plan my day around the fact that I get an hour or two with you in the evening and that time is like gold to me.  While I sometimes miss it, I try not to.  During this time we just “play”, boy do we play!  I try to read to you but at this point you are more interested in eating and generally breaking the books that fill your room.

Despite seemingly just flying around (jesus do you whip around our townhouse) you actually remember where you put your toys and even if you put them inside your toy truck.  For some reason that type of memory on such a small child amazes me.  It is very important to me that you learn sign language so you can communicate with your Uncle Chris and I am proud to say that despite not speaking yet you can tell us when you want to eat, when you are finished and you are starting to pick up how to say that you want milk.  Before you get a large head you still try to eat everything and anything that might be dangerous…we have tons of baby toys but nooo those aren’t good enough, you want hangers, laptop chargers, and damn it if that water cooler doesn’t tease you daily.

Thinking back over the past year, I have to say that this is my favorite time with you.  Then again when the question came up a few months back I said the exact same thing, so I am pretty sure this will continue to occur until age 13ish.

I hope to one day share my blog and your mother’s blog to show you the family we were before you and after you…give you a sense of history…and show that if you keep your head on straight, keep your priorities in check (family, as you define it, should be number 1), and work hard anything is possible.

Love,

Da-Da

Today I want to wish my husband, my Captain Awesome and my best friend a very happy 30th birthday! You read that right…Captain Awesome turns 30 today! He can now join me in the next decade!

Captain Awesome is one of those people who likes to celebrate their birthday for as long as possible. The celebrations began last month when we went to Atlanta, and will now continue through the month of November. Today, we will be going out to dinner ( a much needed date night!), then this weekend we are traveling to Boston, and although it’s for his friends wedding, I have a feeling he will somehow be able to turn it around so that people celebrate his birthday. The celebration will then continue on the 19th when we get together with all of our friends for a nice birthday dinner. You see? I wasn’t exaggerating!

The Captain and I spent almost all of our 20’s together, and now I am excited for him to join me in the 30’s. Our 20’s were spent finding each other, and now I look at our 30′s as finding ourselves as parents. The next 10 years has so much in store for us!

I can’t wait to continue this journey together. Our little man is now in our lives and adds so much joy and love. I hope he can be excited about 30 (although he claims he is going to go through a crisis). We are married, have a son and have a wonderful life. What more could a man ask for?

Happy Birthday Captain Awesome! May it be another wonderful year!

What is that Paula Abdul song?? Opposites Attract? You know the one…the one where she is dancing with that cat? Well it’s a great and catchy tune, and sometimes I will agree with that statement, but sometimes it couldn’t be farther than from the truth. Sometimes opposites cause tension in relationships, and when that happens what are we supposed to do? In a marriage, what happens when opposites don’t attract?

Although Captain Awesome and I are similar in some ways, I’d have to say that when it comes to most things we are the complete opposites. He’s very laid back, and I am much more uptight. He flies by the seat of his pants, and I am a planner to a fault (his is to a fault too might I add!). I could go on and on, but these two traits are the ones that triggered this post so it is probably best we just focus on these.

Normally these differences complement each other. When I get worked up over something, his laid back attitude keeps me calm. It soothes me and settles my head a bit. When it comes to his lack of planning this is where we clash. I will NEVER be ok with waiting till the last minute to do things. It’s not how I operate, and normally it’s OK because I take the reigns on most of the planning. Usually he just sits back and let’s me do my thing. The tension comes when I need him to take charge and do something about the plans. This is when we struggle.

I like to just take care of things. When I get something that is on my mind done it’s like one large check mark appears and that plan/thought gets to be put aside and I can focus on other things. When it came to the planning of The Captains 30th birthday trip to Atlanta I had to give the reigns over to him. He wanted to make the plans. I was OK with that until he was procrastinating on actually making those plans. With no hotel, flight or game tickets (we are going to see the Falcon’s play) I started to get flustered. He on the other hand kept telling me to stop asking about it and to let him take care of it. Unfortunately “letting go” is not my strong suit and I kept asking him to do it. I kept asking until we fought regularly about it. My argument was that it didn’t hurt him to just make the plans, but by him NOT making the plans I felt a ton of stress. He didn’t seem to care about that point. Eventually of course the plans were made and at a month before our departure we are fully set. Luckily for him it all worked out, but it was not done in a way that was ideal for me.

So how do we work this out? Are we destined to argue the rest of our married days when it comes to planning in advance? Do we just accept our roles? Me the planner and him the procrastinator? I think that’s the way it has to be.

So in your relationship what traits do you and your partner clash about. When do your opposites NOT attract you to each other?

It has been 7 weeks since our little Christian blessed us with his presence, and thus far Captain Awesome has yet to change 1 diaper. Yes, you read that correctly…7 weeks and no poopy diapers for daddy. He always said that he didn’t want to change diapers, and I always told him that he HAD to change diapers, and low and behold I am a sucker and have yet to force him to do it. When anyone asks, The Captain likes to tell them that he prefers to keep his “assistant” role when it comes to diapering…and for now that role is perfectly fine with him. Well you know what? That may not be perfectly fine with me. Mommy needs more than an assistant!

I will admit openly that The Captain is an amazing dad so far. He comes home from a long day aat work and will take the baby to give me a bit of a break. When the baby was fussy and gassy he researched ways to relieve his discomfort and sat on the floor doing bicycle kicks with his legs, and when the baby is fussy he will sit and spin this little bear mobile that Christian loves (You’d think it would spin on it’s own!). But with all of that came not one diaper change.

Here’s a story for you. One evening I asked The Captain to watch the baby for a bit while I took a shower. I was excited to relax and have a few moments to myself. After my shower I stepped out in my towel, and proceeded to dry off. That’s when I heard The Captain calling for me up the stairs. “We have a code 3″ he yelled. I panicked for a second when I had no idea what a “code 3″ was. I yelled “What’s a code three!?” He then proceeded to tell me the kid had pooped and peed and he got the diaper off and panicked. So I ran downstairs to see my poor son laying there diaperless. He was happy as can be, but daddy was not pleased with the dirty diaper. I changed the baby, showing the Captain each step I made. I guess I can give him some credit for giving it a try, but his follow through was lacking. Should he get an “A” for effort?

I am hoping that the “Assistant” will soon promote himself and take on a bigger diaper changing position. Mainly because someday I would like to leave the baby with his daddy and feel comfortable that he won’t be stuck sitting in a poopy diaper all day. I know that he’s a smart man and CAN change a diaper…we just have to get him to actually do it. It’s time for a promotion don’t you think?

Does your man change diapers? What role did your spouse take when it came to daddy duties of an infant?

The Captain may work all day, run the finances, and do the technical stuff in the house. You know the man jobs…but that pretty much leaves me with everything else. I cook, I clean, do the laundry, grocery shop, dry cleaning and even buy his clothes. As a matter of fact, in the 10 years that we have been together Captain Awesome has not cooked me ONE DINNER. But does that stop him from standing over a pot telling me how to cook or stir the dinner? Nope!

What is it about a man who always thinks that although things miraculously get done around the house…things like dirty towels always magically hung up, and dirty socks left in the couch put away….that they could still do it better? And to say this to their pregnant hormonal wife? As I write this I am thinking that maybe I should just let him take charge. My “inefficient” ways just don’t seem to be working any more I guess…

Like I said…I guess Captain Awesome can just do it better.

When friends of ours were getting ready to have their baby, Captain Awesome decided that he would create a Baby Pool for them so that friends and family members could make guesses as to when their little one would arrive. From that, his website Pregnancy Pool came about. He worked extremely hard on the site, and now, since little Pooh Bear will soon make his arrival, it is finally time to make our own pool. What is it you ask? Pregnancy Pool is a FREE and fun way for family and friends to get involved in guessing when your little one will arrive.

When The Captain started searching for online baby pools he was very disappointed in what he found. He really saw it was a missed market. There were some, but they were either costly, or too hard to figure out. That’s why when he set out to create his own Baby Pool , he wanted it to be free and easy. And that my friends is exactly what he did.

To start, all you have to do is sign up and go to “CREATE POOL”. Here you are able to name and make the rules to your own pool. For ours, we decided that guessing the baby’s weight would be the tie breaker for those guesses on the same date. We also decided to take it upon ourselves to spice things up a bit and have people make a small wager with their guess. We are collecting $5/ guess, but keep in mind that it isn’t done through the site. We are doing that privately on our own, and you certainly don’t have to do that. But since The Captain loves to gamble, it fit us nicely!

Once the pool is created you are free to share your own personal pool site with your friends and family! You can either go to the buttons at the top of the page and share that way, or you can copy and paste your link to an e mail and send it out to them that way. Once your friends get the link they create an account and go to VIEW POOLS and find your particular pool. Then they make their guess!

They can even leave you a little note or comment. It really is that easy.

Now for some fun! I created a Pool just for you my readers! If you go to VIEW POOLS it is appropriately called Afterthealter . I thought it would be fun to see what your guesses are! Especially since you have shared this journey with me. It’s time for all you people in hiding to get involved! Go ahead..make a guess! I promise I won’t even be mad when you guess that I will go late with a big 10 lb baby!

I am extremely proud of Captain Awesome for creating this beautiful site. He really worked hard, and I think it will be a big success. So if you know anyone expecting a baby in the near future please pass along the www.pregnancypool.com website!

At our lamaze class we got instructions of what to do during different stages of labor. There were separate sections for the mom, and one for the “coach” or in our case dad (aka Captain Awesome). His job is to do things like “encourage” and “make eye contact”…you know the real hard stuff of labor. But when I thought more about it I realized how much The Captain does/has done through out this pregnancy to make me more comfortable, and about how lucky I am that I have him to go through this amazing time with. That is why I am giving him an award for #1 Soon To Be Dad!!!

I have been very lucky throughout this pregnancy, and haven’t had TOO many crazy cravings. But when there is something I want he is always willing to run out and get it for me. Whether it’s the ball park soft pretzel , donuts, Friendly’s Ice cream, or a Greek Gyro, Captain Awesome always was/is willing, without complaint to fulfill my craving. As you may know…this is a very big soon to be dad job.

Most men attend the big Doctors appointments, but The Captain has been to ALL of ours. I wouldn’t have been mad if he missed some, but he was there with me through them all. He’s sat way too long in the waiting room, and listened to all the gory pregnancy details. Unfortunately, being there has also allowed him to hear my crazy questions to the doctor, but I’ll take it to have him by my side. It’s his baby too and I’m so happy he’s gotten to experience that part of it.

Let’s talk shopping and other fun pregnancy activities. Captain Awesome went with me to register (OK, not fully register but I got him to do the big things). He picked out our crib, and since the showers, he’s sat very patiently while I showed him EVERYTHING that we got. He even get’s excited about the little man clothes! (or at least pretends to be). The moment that I really realized how great he’s been was when I went to get my maternity pictures done (post on that to follow). I wanted him to come so that he could be in some. We went to a park, and other than a few shots the poor guy carried our little Tinkerbell as well as a duffel bag of clothes that I had brought. He really was such a good sport.

I know I don’t always remember to say thank you as much as I should, and I know that this big change isn’t just happening to me. So I am very lucky to have a man in my life like Captain Awesome. I always knew what a great partner he was, but every day I am reminded. He’s going to be the best dad, and I know this because he is a wonderful husband. I certainly am one lucky girl!

In our household I pretty much do all of the cleaning. It is what it is and I normally don’t mind too much. I dream of being a housewife one day, and I figure it will be part of my duties then so I might as well get used to it. The Captain will pitch in if I ask him to do chores here and there, but other than that I think he’d be OK with any way I kept the house. I will be honest and admit I am no where close to a neat freak, and I am lucky my husband doesn’t mind that. But what is weird is the things he DOES notice that are dirty….it truly baffles my mind!

Most people would notice a dirty bathroom, or a carpet that needs vacuuming, or a bed that is unmade but not Captain Awesome….no way. He tends to notice things that most likely no one else in the world would call you out as being dirty. I am pretty sure most people wouldn’t even notice it. The refrigerator for example. It contains a lot of food, maybe some leftovers and most of the time is a place that guests do not enter to see. But the refridgerator is a place that my husband takes pride in keeping clean. Same goes for our random drawer in the kitchen. We all have it. That drawer that just houses pretty much everything. The other day my husband opens it and decides that it’s just too messy and it needs to be cleaned…so that’s what he did. He cleaned it! Shall I go on? Let’s take the microwave. That great kitchen tool gets splattered by food. It happens…we move on. Not the Captain. He opens it and says…you know this really needs to be cleaned. Really?? That’s what you notice needs to be cleaned???

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE that he wants to be helpful in whatever way I can get him to be helpful around the house. I certainly don’t want to clean the fridge. But I just find it amusing that the stuff he notices is the most random. I doubt that I will EVER convince him to clean a bathroom, so I should take what I can get. What’s that saying? “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” Well this post may be doing the opposite of that but I just had to share this with you my readers. Hey we share everything right? (ok…not everything lol I doubt you want to know EVERYTHING) So to Captain Awesome…Thank you dear for your random cleaning! (see now’s the time when I kiss up lol)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mother’s and future mother’s out there. Every year I always enjoy celebrating the day honoring my mother, grandmother and mother in law, but this year was a little different. This year I got the chance to take a peek at the future and allow myself the joys of picturing my life next year when I myself get to celebrate Mother’s Day as a mother. It’s surreal, exciting and scary at the same time, but I was so blessed to have a great husband, as well as family and friends in my life to make my day special. It was wonderful to be able to celebrate our little bean.

My parents were in town this weekend, but had to leave Sunday morning early so that they could celebrate Mother’s Day with the rest of my family back in PA. It was extremely hard knowing that I was missing out on that, but at least I got to spend the weekend with them. I got my time in (although not enough). After I said my goodbyes early Sunday morning I headed back to bed. I was blessed to go back to sleep and stay that way till about 11:00 when The Captain and I decided it was time to get up. Captain Awesome generously made me breakfast, and proceeded to give me 2 cards. One from him, and the other from my little Tinkerbell. On top of that he got me a Mother’s Day present! How cute! He scared me a bit when he said that “he’s not sure it’s something I want, but he decided to take a leap of faith and get it”. (it’s never great to get a present with that as it’s opening line) But I opened the card and it was something I was so excited to get! It was a package to get a 3D/4D sonogram later on in the pregnancy! I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but it’s pretty crazy what details you get in this sonogram. You pretty much can tell what your baby will look like! It was the perfect gift. I can’t wait for that time in the pregnancy….only a couple of months to go!

It’s crazy to think about how next year’s Mother’s Day my life will be so different. It’s crazy to think about how next year at this time my little miracle will be with us so that we can celebrate with him/her. On top of all that next year’s Mother’s Day gets to be ALL ABOUT ME! That’s right dear readers, I get the whole day to do whatever I want to do! The Captain, Tinkerbell the bean and I get to spend our day as our own little family. Maybe this will be a start of a family tradition of our own? Who knows! What I do know is that I can’t wait!

This year’s pre Mother’s Day was just a small taste. A small little bit of insight into the years ahead, and I liked it. I felt special, and I loved the attention the little bean got. It’s amazing how loved the little miracle is already. I am truly blessed.

Keep us in your prayers today (Monday)! We have our first REAL OB appointment today and another sonogram! YIKES!!!