With my little man’s first birthday quickly approaching, my days of breastfeeding are quickly nearing an end. I am still shocked that I’ve made it this far. I have reached my end goal! Could it really be true? Could I really have breastfed my son for a whole year? With me nearing the end I have a ton of mixed emotions and feelings. Although mentally and physically I am ready for it all to be done, emotionally I am a wreck. Every day I sit in the glider and feed my son I cherish it, because I always remind myself…the end is near!
Some of you may say…”if you are that upset then continue”. To that I would tell you that I don’t want to. A year is more than enough time for me to nurse, and beyond that I have no interest. I think all the emotional feelings stem from the hard time I am having with my son turning one in general.
It’s weird to believe that I have nursed my son at least once every day out of the 365 days out of the last year. For 5 whole months I was the sole source of nutrition for him. That is immense responsibility. I sacrificed my body, and sometimes my sanity to make sure I gave him the best nutrition possible. Was it easy? No…but I truly believe it is the best sacrifice a mother can give her child. I knew the moment he was born that it wasn’t about my comfort any more, it was about him, and if I was able to nurse him I would for as long as I could stand it. And as it turns out I was able to last a whole year.
I think both of us are ready to end. I still think we may have a little trouble cutting out the bed time feeding, but I can tell that my body is no longer producing much, and the lack of production is just frustrating him. I have been the person to wake up with him almost every morning, and be the one to put him to bed almost every night out of this last year. As hard as it will be for me to give that up, I know it’s time to get him used to others doing the job. Although there is pumping, breastfeeding really ties you to your child. Although for the first year that bond is amazing, there comes a time (at least I believe) where they have to get used to other people and changes in routine. I’m ready for that time to begin.
I have decided to cut out the morning feeding come his first birthday, and wait to cut out the night feeding till our doctors appointment on December 8th. I just want to talk the whole process through with my doctor. How do I wean him smoothly? Bottle or no bottle at night? I know they say no bottle…but what if he doesn’t calm at night with out the nursing? Those are some questions I want to discuss.
Either way in a short amount of time the feedings that started with 10 times a day (or more!) have now left me feeding 2 times a day. It’s extremely surreal. My little boy is growing up, and no longer needs his mom for his main source of nutrition. (Let’s just hope I can do as well in the food department!) The end I have been talking about so long is finally coming close…and boy is it bitter sweet!
No matter how long you nursed…how did weaning go for you? Was it hard for you? Hard for them?