I have this fear in my gut every day. Most of the time it’s hidden behind pure joy, but sometimes, when I see a TV show, or hear a story about someone else, that fear rears it’s ugly head. It’s a fear that something bad will happen to someone in my family. Although it always has scared me, it’s never felt like this. Now, if I see or hear about something bad happening to a child I want to throw up. What if that horrid thing happened to my son? I know you can’t live life that way, but I have a feeling we all have those fears. How do you control it?
I was reading a blog post written about a little girl who was one year, one month and one day old, the same age as my son, who was ran over by a car at a little league game. I cried. I didn’t know this little girl, but I cried. That poor family woke up that day all happy that they were going to a little league game. Never could they imagine how horribly it would end.
We wake up every day not knowing what will happen. Normally, that is the joy of life. Feeling the anticipation of each new day. What can we expect? But now that I’m a mom, and my heart walks around every day embodied as my son, I am having a hard time.
I can’t exactly remember when this fear started. If I hear a story about any accident, or illness I can only think about how I couldn’t imagine what I would do if that happened to my son.
I know this isn’t healthy. I promise you that I am not paralyzed by fear each day, but I wanted to share my fears with you. How do I be strong?
Is this fear normal?